A Newly Discovered Psalm of David

 

1       O praise the Lord, for it is a good thing to sing the praises ‘ of our ‘ David :  for he is worth  a ‘ tenner in ‘ any one’s ‘ money ;

2       Banker, accountant, librarian, his ‘ talents are ‘ multitude :  and he has sung in our Choir from when ‘ Pontius ‘ was a  ‘ pilot .

3       He ‘ knows all ‘ music :  and has ‘ sung it ‘ all ‘ everywhere ;

4       But he ‘ can be mis ’- taken :  because he says ‘ we have ‘ sung it all ‘ too!

5       There are ‘ some ^. who would ‘ say :  unkindly and unjustly, that ‘ where we ‘ sing each ‘ year

6       Is ‘ governed ‘ by :  wherever there are ‘ good ‘ second-hand ‘ bookshops .

7       But then, ‘ planning this ‘ week :  he and Katha ‘- rina ‘ have had ‘ problems ;

8       First one, and then another, have all ‘ taken ^. to their ‘ sickbeds :  so that it was feared we ‘ would be ‘ one man ^. and his ‘ dog .

9       In the ‘ nick of ‘ time :  someone ‘ thought a ‘- bout St ‘ Paul’s

10    And our ‘ hearts were ‘ gladdened :  by the ‘ sight of ‘ Reg and ‘ Tom .

11    But we are ‘ sorely ‘ missing :  our ‘ Rever ‘- end Pro ‘- fessor ;

12    It has ‘ meant that ‘ Clive :  has been chanting, seemingly for ever and ever, (yawn)  at heights, and for lengths of time, for ‘ which he ‘ was not ‘ made .

13    Once here, our organist ‘ Nick suc ‘- cumbed :  to ‘ - a ‘ dreaded ‘ lurgi ;

14    So much so ‘ that our ‘ leader :  had to ‘ fly ‘ to her ‘ loft .

15    In stepped ‘ as con ‘- ductor :  the Dir ‘- ector ‘ of St ‘ Paul’s ;

16    His ‘ gestures are ‘ amazing :  all balanced a ‘- top his ‘ hollow ‘ legs .

17    The strain ‘ has be ‘- gun :  to ‘ tell on ‘ poor ole ‘ David

18    Because ‘ he has been ‘ seen :  a ‘- talking  ‘ to the  ‘ cows .

19    And now our psalm has  ‘ come to an  ‘ end :  and we are  ‘ not sure  ‘ how to  ‘ finish  (pause)

20    But,  ‘ here’s an  ‘ idea :  why not  ‘ simply  ‘ say, A ‘- men .